Since discovering EID, it has explained all my misery. It's like a Theory of Everything which is a far out thing to say since I don't know enough about the Theory of Everything to know whether or not this analogy makes sense. But, hear me out. Not only does EID help me understand my own neurotic tendencies, it shows me that all of our neurotic tendencies are pretty much the same thing. Doesn't that sound like a theory of everything?
Seriously.
People diagnosed as "depressed" - EID
asshole creeps - EID
unmotivated - EID
any type of panic disorders - EID
laissez faire privileged disinterest - EID
lack of satisfaction with interpersonal relationships - EID
It looks like we all need to slay the same dragon - confusion about who we are.
But, I don't tell people this; that would be obnoxious.
It feels intrusive and condescending when someone else explains our lives to us because we do it to each other all the time! I'm just as guilty as the next person. So, I know I can't say, "don't sweat it, it's Ego Inflammation Disorder and we're all in this together." We're all sick of other people telling us our business.
That's what's so great about Ego Inflammation Disorder - the only person who can diagnose you with EID is YOU!
Still, the urge to say, "hey, isn't this what we're dealing with here? Another case of Ego Inflammation Disorder?" comes up pretty regularly for me. Since I can't say that out loud, I figured I could write about my experience slaying EID and see if anyone else can relate.
It's possible, someone else might resonate with EID. It's also possible that I may be the only person diagnosed with Ego Inflammation Disorder and I'm okay with that. Because, I'm not crazy. Ego Inflammation Disorder is real, it's a legitimate diagnosis with an ICD number and everything!
There are symptoms and treatments,
clear parameters,
stages of intensity,
and other features of EID may be revealed in time.
What is this Ego, anyway?
In layman's terms, there's a network of mental habits that form a personality associated with a body people call a certain name. Those mental habits associated with the body people call Anna Allocco claim to be ME. The insistence, "I am so and so, I am like this, I need this, I believe this, this is right and that is wrong" is what I mean when I refer to Ego. In my experience, Ego is afoot when the following frames of mind are operating:
- I'm more separate from other people than connected with them
- the truest part of me is the physical part that ages and dies
- chasing security is a good use of a lifetime
- expectations are legitimate claims for blaming our discomfort on other people or circumstance
- unexamined thoughts, aka assumptions, are true
- habits are stronger than hearts
All I know is I'm sick and tired of all the judging, justifying, perseverating, worrying, second-guessing, comparing, craving, avoiding and resisting Ego uses to hijack panoramic awareness into a tiny slice of perception and call it "real."
So, Ego, you better watch out. I'm coming for you.
Yeah, I know there's an aspect of Ego that gets all fired up about the thrill of the hunt,
chasing it's own tale,
blogging about the journey.
So, that Ego better watch out, too!
Once Mooji said that there is a time for using a machete,
like Shiva the Destroyer of Illusion.
Maybe this is that time.
